I Never Meant to Be A Rebel : A MemoirBook - 2017
Jessica Bell never meant to be a rebel. But growing up with two gothic rockers as parents seemed to make it inevitable.
In 1980s Australia, Erika Bach and Demetri Vlass founded Ape the Cry and Hard Candy, two of Melbourne's iconic indie bands. They encouraged Jessica with unreserved love to pick up the guitar and write her own songs. But Erika's back problem became a nightmare of pill popping, alcohol abuse, and anxiety attacks. Demetri retreated into silence for fear of triggering Erika's drug-induced psychosis. And Jessica turned inwards, to her own reflection.
But her mirror self was a fiend, not a friend. All it took was one secret drink at fifteen, and Jessica dove headlong into depression and self-destruction to escape the madness at home.
Experimenting with bisexuality in a high school rife with bullies? Not a problem; she had alcohol. Losing her virginity to rape? Not a problem; she had alcohol. Trying to supplement absent love with unprotected one-night stands? Not a problem; she had alcohol ...
Until one day alcohol nearly drove Jessica off a cliff.
Jessica had to look at herself honestly and frankly. Why did she keep running from reality, and more importantly, herself?
Melbourne, Victoria : 2017. Vine Leaves Press,