The Girl With the Lower Back TattooBook - 2016
From Library Staff
LoganLib_Bailey Oct 25, 2016
A humorous and honest look in to the life Amy Schumer. Definitely worth a read if you're a fan of the comedienne.
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“I know my worth. I embrace my power. I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story. I will. ...I am amazing for you, not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you.”
“Neal’s apartment went far beyond endearingly dirty. It was like Jumanji…I stalled … marveling for a moment at the fact that a man so expertly coiffed and immaculately molded, could emerge from this bottom-of-an-orangutan cage bathroom every morning.”
"I think my dad could be at the Wailing Wall or sitting with the Dalai Lama on a mountain in Tibet and he'd be annoyed that someone next to him was humming too loudly or complaining that he was hungry."
"I was blessed with a mother who made junk food completely contraband in our house. [...] Instead of giving me a healthy in-moderation-only attitude toward sh*tty-for-you food, I acted like an Amish kid on Rumspringa any time I was near it."
"If it's hot, we drink white wine and tequila; if it's cold, we drink red wine and scotch and tequila. So, basically, we always weigh around the same. I usually weigh anywhere between one hundred forty-five pounds and six million pounds."
"I lie to a lot of Uber drivers and tell them I'm pregnant so they will drive safer. They don't know I'm not and really neither do I. I guess I could be."
"Women are always expected to be the gracious hostess, quick with an anecdote and a sprinkling of laughter at others' stories. We are always the ones who have to smooth over all the awkward moments in life with soul-crushing pleasantries. We are basically unpaid geishas. But when we do not fulfill this expectation (because we are introverted), people assume we must be either depressed or a c**t. Maybe I'm a c**t anyway, but it's not because I don't want to blink and smile at someone as they tell me they ran cross-country in middle school."
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